The Beautiful Fight

I got into a big argument / misunderstanding with a dear friend just last night. A simple "good night" turned into a "goodbye" of sorts. But thanks to a dear friend who answered my call and listened and just stayed there until my cries turned into laughter.

I know I am not alone whenever I experience having to give up on something/someone - relationship, things, job opportunities, time, dream. Everyone can relate to that - the giving up of something to make room for something better.
Giving something up is always difficult. You know the feeling you get when you give something up? That feeling that something that used to be a part of you is gone and you dont know how to live your life again.

I hate giving up. I hate disappointing people. I hate it when I can't give what was expected of me. I hate ruining a great friendship. I hate it when I've caused so much pain.

I know I'm not perfect.
I'm so sorry for those that I've offended.. mostly last night.
It's hard and painful. Giving something up.

But I do believe God cares.

God really does care. God really is involved, even when we don't acknowledge Him.

Life is hard and life is good.
"He did this to humble you and test you for your own good." - Deuteronomy 8:16 NLT

Every painful thing that we go through is a test of faith, the molding of our character, a renewing of our mind, a changing of our heart.

Now that i'm going through this situation, I know that I'm not alone.

My learning from this experience is that I don't want to be someone who just experiences something but not walk away changed from the experience. I want to always see every experience through God's eyes.

The eyes that can look past someone's beauty, fame, power - or lack thereof - and see that person as important to our heavenly Father.

The eyes that see others with the eyes of God - noticing the unnoticed, not being distracted by what the world considers important, caring for those we would usually just let pass.

"To care for both victim and persecutor;

To feel genuinely concerned about each individual, like our God….,

not wanting anyone to perish" - 2 Peter 3:9

I may be in a painful situation right now… but I do believe that there is a great purpose why.

I may have never realized there's something was wrong with my heart, my eyes, my thinking if last night hadn't happened..

I may never have experienced this kind of security from God if I hadn't gone through this pain and uncertainty.

I would never have really known how much He cares and how unconditional the fact that He gave up His life for me is, despite my faults and sins, if not for what happened last night.

I would never have known how truly grateful I am that He is continually humbling me, guiding me, and teaching me and loving me in every season of my life.

The process may be painful and hard yet I know for sure that it's for my own good.

and now Lord… I know that it's a real struggle to get there, but the destination is so glorious that the fight to I have to give to get to where You want to take me is nothing less than BEAUTIFUL.

The Beautiful Fight.